This week’s Sharing The Burden Podcast – Accepting Powerlessness
Part-1: Something to lose
Sharing The Burden’s year starts by starting our program all over, right from the beginning.
My guest Lloyd in his message says he asks the question “do you have something worth losing and you want to keep it?” This is a consideration for him when he decides whom he wants to spend time with, or not. He believes if someone has nothing to lose, he or she is likely not the ideal sort for him to be spending time with. So this is one of Lloyd’s ways to obtain his goal of improving his life and more importantly the way he lives.
We speak of co-dependency or our sense of having to be in control. It starts very early on when we naturally want to be in control of Our Lives. When we realize this is a difficult and probably impossible task for the simple reason that we just cannot do everything to the degree of efficiency and competence that we would like to. We then naturally, reach outside of ourselves to make us feel better on the inside. In other words we try to fix, change, relieve, cure or save things, people and places outside of ourselves. We quickly realize that we really cannot do that very well either, simply because we’re human and none of us were made perfectly. So we try to escape failure and feelings of inadequacy. We find a good Escape and keep using it for a temporary sense of relief from the problem of being imperfect. The Escape mechanism that one uses, for him or her with the genetics of addiction, may well become an addiction! THIS IS THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION and very often its root to fruition!
Part-2: The end of ourselves
Lloyd believes his fear of death is what ultimately led him to recovery. He saw so many of his close friends die from overdoses (usually from the drug Fentanyl), that he started to fear for his own life. After getting better himself, he realized that he really wanted to help others who were in the same boat as he was.
Shame was our next discussion and we agreed that we really are very weak in and of ourselves! However, we don’t want anyone to see this weakness. We want health and strength to be our visible traits, not weakness and failure! Accepting POWERLESSNESS is near impossible for most us as we get our sense of value from our performance and how we feel that others see us!
I believe that utter POWERLESSNESS will only be acceptable to someone, when he or she sees evidence that power is available from somewhere. The source is generally SUPERNATURAL or SPIRITUAL in nature, e.g. God for the believers!
Part-3: Closing Remarks
Sharing vulnerably very deep and very difficult situations that we’ve overcome, may provide that hope!
Encouraging people with an unconditional love which can separate behaviour from personality is a good way to provide hope. Conditions destroy the delivery and receipt of love!
People with “lived experience” such as an addict, alcoholic or a person who has a mental illness, is better able to get through to a like-minded personality. True love and support seem to be the pieces that can make a large impact in a very short time! Without this love, the painful road to recovery is overburdening and too much!
Share widely, how we made it to NOW and save lives as well as painful experiences for many who are just starting out or searching! Remember also that in your worst pain lies your greatest asset to SHARE and lift another from disaster!
Huge problems when OVERCOME are our greatest assets and Lloyd says that, “He who brought you to it, will bring you through it!” Decide NOW that you have that much faith and that the support will be there!” And don’t forget my favourite slogan, the simple words “….I’ll be there!”
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